Recovery
by Legendary Ghost Banana
Summary: In where Nishinoya gets in an accident that leaves him paralyzed from the waist down. Fortunately, it's temporary, and his friends and teammates help him adapt to the major changes, as well as help him recover and get back on his feet again.
1. Prologue

Whoever said that your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die was obviously full of crap. As if every moment from your first memory to your last is suddenly replayed in your head in that short amount of time right before you fall into death's hands like some submissive fool. I mean, It didn't happen to me, so what does that mean? It means that either they're wrong, I'm just really special, or I'm not actually going to die. As much as I totally would love to believe I'm some special gift from God himself, given to this world to spread his unimaginable, incomprehensible glory by just _breathing_. I know I'm not.

Because If I was, I wouldn't be so angry right now, I wouldn't be so annoyed and disappointed with myself, and I wouldn't be in this hospital bed right now, wondering why the hell I can't feel my legs.

Yes, I know, I should be oh so grateful that I'm alive, I should be thanking the heavens that I, Nishinoya Yuu get to live another day on this big, blue, wondrous world we call earth. Believe me, I am, deep down, under all that rage and frustration screaming and scolding me for my own stupidity, is a small, shiny pearl of positivity whispering: "Hey, at least you're not dead."

In all honesty, I would have accepted this fate if the reasoning behind why I'm like this were much...Cooler, like by pushing some pretty girl out of the way and taking the hit, I saved a life. Or that I gave it my all trying to rescue a kitten. That kinda stuff gets put on the news, and maybe if it had, the fact that I'm like this is because I did something honorable, would replace the shit feeling I have right now with pride. And when people look at me, they will look down at me and smile, for doing something so brave, so nice and heroic instead of apologize and look at me with pity. At least, that's what I expect. There's no justification for what happened to me, It's essentially my fault for giving into my impatience. Had I waited just a few more seconds for the light to turn red. Had I not thought that I was quick enough to sprint across that stupid crosswalk _for a Goddamn popsicle_, I would be at home, or on the court, or anywhere but here. Anywhere but this dumb place.

.

.

.

**A/N**

giving this fanfiction thing a shot, lord have mercy.


	2. Lemon Cake

I have no idea what time it is, or how long I've been awake, just that my acknowledgement of my stupidity had begun as soon as I was conscious. There is a clock on the wall to my left, but I refuse to look at it. If I do, I'll only calculate the moments that occurred from the incident until now. The less I think about it, the better I feel, and that lump in my throat sort of goes away. As soon as I connect all the pieces and create that big picture which will lead me to the realization that I fucked up majorly, I'll cry. And I refuse to cry in here.

There's something about hospitals I don't like. It's hard to define, and there's possibly more than one thing I dislike about them. If I was a bit younger, I'd probably be scared right now.

Maybe it's because they're kind of associated with bad things. I mean, who goes to a hospital to get rewarded?

What's worse are these white walls, white sheets and gowns that are just so plain and blank you can hardly distract yourself because there is nothing to distract yourself with. Well, no. I take that back. There's also the noise that comes from the machine that's connected to you, I forgot what it's called, but it beeps a lot. There's a television in here, too, but it's not on, so it's useless. For now, I pay attention to the machine, because it's either that or listening to the sound of my own heartbeat in all this silence. The first option, for some reason, seems more soothing.

Moments pass, and I hear the sound of a door opening. Footsteps–more like shuffling, but still–then some short, old man in a white coat comes into sight. He has an abundance of wrinkles and hair so thin and white, you could hardly tell it was there. He seems like the grouchy type. The kind of elder who's simply too old to put up with anything and has an excuse to yell at anyone. This, makes me feels uneasy, and I want to look away. But his gaze meets mine and he smiles.

I now know for certain that It's absolutely possible to change someone's opinion about you by just smiling. It just is, because this man went from a 'grumpy, hating-the-world geezer' to my grandpa in a matter of seconds, it was almost frightening. And despite it being warm and welcoming, I don't smile back. I see nothing to be happy about right now, and if it weren't for the fact that this doctor amazed me with his little magic act just now, I'd probably be offended.

"You are a lucky boy, you could have died today!" Oh, there's that. He's just met me and he's happy for my current well-being. Don't get me wrong, It's good to be alive, but clearly, these changes of events have are going to have me face some major difficulties. It's not like the same person sitting in this bed right now is the same person who was impatiently crossing the street a few hours ago.

It's like, imagine you have a big cake, right? Everyday you cut a piece for yourself to enjoy, then one day you cut a particularly big piece. _But you drop it_. Then someone comes up to you like: "Hey, at least you still have the rest of that cake left."

Well _of course_ I still have the majority of the cake left, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm pissed I lost a piece. I can't feel my legs. That means I can't walk. I can't jump. I can't run. _I can't receive_. I can't play. I just lost a big piece of my life, and it's really hard to 'look on the bright side' after losing something rather big and meaningful to you.

If my life were a cake, it'd probably be lemon flavored...

"Nishinoya?"

Ah, shit.

The doctor looks at me, as if waiting for a response. I guess I've been blocking him out this whole time. I can't recall the last word he said and I really don't feel like speaking. I don't want to come off as rude, yet at the same time I don't care. I simply stare up at him with an apologetic expression, hoping he's good at reading people.

He smiles again, and I feel warm. It's sort of like that feeling of comfort you get only at home, like catching your mom in the middle of baking and she lets you try the batter. Though I wouldn't go so far and say I feel 'at home' here, just more at ease. It seems easy to talk to him, even though I won't. He must be really good at his job. "I'll tell you again later, for now, it's lunchtime, so the nurse will be in with your food shortly."

I nod, and my mouth waters a bit at the thought of food. I hadn't realized, but I am a little hungry.

I like this guy. It'll be a shame when he retires.

Still, I wish I had paid attention to what he told me. I didn't even catch his name.

Eh, he'll be back.

He shuffles out of the room, and I hear the sound of a door closing. I sigh, rest my eyes and wait until my food arrives. The door opens, but my eyes do not. I figure it's either the doctor who forgot something, or the nurse with my lunch.

I hear footsteps, but it doesn't match that of the doctor's. I narrow it down to the nurse, and shift a little in order to balance the expected tray that might reside in my lap. I expect her to call my name, but instead, I hear:

"Ryu, he's asleep." It definitely is a girl's voice, an awfully familiar one too.

"But we drove all the way here, and the doctor said we could come in, so let's wake him up." Holy shit. I feel like bouncing up with all the strength I could muster up right there I'm so excited, but I don't.

I'm far too comfortable and unaware of the pain I might be in if I move too much.

"Ryu, no.._._" It's big sis.

"I'll be gentle, c'mon, I'm not stupid–" and this clown.

"_Ryuunosuke._" I picture her giving a stern look, with a hand on her hip.

"Okay, fine. But you can't wake him either, you aren't exactly gentle."

I hear an offended gasp, and a hiss that slowly evolves into a whine. She must be pinching him. I open my eyes to watch the bickering siblings in front of me, and count the seconds until they realize I'm wide awake.

"See? You're only proving my point!" He huffed, swatting her hand away.

"Shh!" She points to my bed, "Keep it down!" it was in a harsh whisper, but it's loud enough for me to hear.

I get tired of waiting, and I'm afraid they might leave without giving me another glance.

I try to call out to them, but all I manage is a single cough. I wince at the pain and my failed attempt, but it was enough to get their attention. Simultaneously, they look in my direction.

And the look on this guy's face is one I'll never forget.


	3. Comedians in Wheelchairs

Y'know that feeling when you've been deprived of something for a long time, and you finally get to reunite with it and you can hardly contain yourself because...Well, damn, it's been a while. And all you want to do is grab it and keep it close to you in fear of losing it again.

That's what I kind of expect Ryu to feel, as odd as that sounds. Maybe not full on, fall to his knees next to my bed, mumbling incomprehensible words through his sobs like 'I thought I lost you!' as I pat his head and tell him I'm fine. But something close? It happens plenty of times in the movies, I don't know, I guess my expectations were a little too high.

But it's_ because _face wasn't what I expected, is why I won't forget it. It one if his least expressive faces yet. Like a mixture of relief and concern. Also, (though I may be looking into it too much) maybe a little...Anger. But before I even question why, he smiles and the face disappears.

I wonder if he'll ever make it again.

Ryu shuffles over to my side, I assume he'll take the seat next to my bed, but he keeps standing. I open my mouth to speak, but Saeko is already at my other side, and she presses a kiss to my forehead and ruffles my hair. It was at that moment I realized it had gone a little flat. I grin and look up at her. She gives me some gentle scolding speech, going on about how she was super worried and stuff. Kind of like how a parent would, but cooler because it's her.

Which reminds me, "Where are my parents?" I glance from sister to brother. My voice is hoarse from not speaking for so long, I clear my throat while I wait for a response.

"They were here earlier, and stayed with you for a while. You must have still been sleeping at the time." She gives my hair another affectionate ruffle. It feels nice.

"They're the reason any of us found out, really. They told us not to come all at once 'cause we're not s'posed to 'overwhelm' you." Ryu added. "So the rest of the team will visit over the next few days, I got to go first because of best friend privileges." He said in a jocular manner, giving me a thumbs up. I return the gesture with a smirk.

"I'll go get us some treats from the vending machine." Saeko announced, and before I could tell her I should be getting my lunch any minute, she's already heading out of the room. I don't try to stop her, from what I heard, hospital food sucks so whatever she gets me will be better than what the place is serving.

She leaves, and I look over to Ryu, who's still standing. He looks hesitant, and I can't tell why. Is he uncomfortable?

He looks down at me, and I look up at him. We just kind of stare at each other, and I'm not sure If we both find this amusing, but I certainly do. I count the seconds we're in each other's gaze before he turns away.

"I win." I declare, with a smug little smirk, I clear my throat again while he laughs and finally sits with a sigh.

"Dude…" The look on his face is like the one you get when you wanna say something, but you don't know what exactly. I know that feeling too well, so I just remain patient until he finds the words.

"Man, Saeko pretty much said everything I was going to, and I suck at saying anything original and sweet, so…" He glances around, then just shrugs. "How you feelin'?" Skipping out on the mushy crap, alright.

"Like half the man I used to be…" I answer, glancing up at the ceiling, only to wince a little at the bright light fixture.

"Is it okay for me to laugh at that, or—"

"It'd probably make me feel better if you did."

He gives me a chuckle, and I smile. I stare down the sheets covering my legs and sigh. I don't know how fast the smile leaves, but he was quick to notice. He turns away from me, and even though I can't really see, I can tell he's biting his lower pats his hands in his lap, creating some off-beat rhythm with the sound of his thighs. He's being hesitant again.

"What's up?" I ask when I realize that he _does_ have the words to say what he wants, he's just not presenting them.

"So, what exactly happened? I mean, if you don't remember it's cool. I know that this kind of stuff makes your memory all jumbled up and stuff." It was a simple question, I don't know why he's being so weird about it.

"I was at the crosswalk heading to the store, I didn't wait for the light to turn red, I cross and _Bam._ Here I am." I shrug, trying to act cool about it. Because maybe if he sees how chill I am, he'll stop acting so weird and nervous. Hearing me say it out loud though, really stings, and I'm trying really hard not to cringe at myself.

"What the hell was so important at the store you couldn't wait?" It sounded faintly harsh, with a little bit of disbelief. I totally understand, so I let it slide by ignoring the tone in his voice.

"Gari-Gari Kun pops we on sale." It was true, I sometimes wonder how I'd feel about this whole paralyzed thing if I actually got my popsicle. Like, would I be cool with it? It's a dumb thing to think about, the majority of the time I'm 'Hell no I wouldn't!' but then I have those moments where the craving is so strong, it'd be kind of be worth it.

God, I need to the hell out of this hospital.

Tanaka is still staring at me, like he's speechless, and I see it.

_That face_. He made it again.

I see some anger in there like I noticed earlier, and it hits me.

This dude probably had a feeling it was my fault all along.

That's why he's angry, because my own impatience and stupidity put me in here. Not some speeding asshole.

He was nervous about finding out because if it turns out it _wasn't _my fault, he'd feel guilty for even suspecting me.

I guess he feels like knowing the truth justifies it, and it probably does. But only I'm supposed to be upset with myself. No one else. I'm actually offended, even though he's right to feel like that. He's probably the only one who's just as pissed and disappointed in myself as I am. I shouldn't be surprised, Ryu and I are super close, I'd go as far to say we're like brothers. It's natural to have the same feelings on things when we have a lot in common. It's why I see a bit of myself in his face. Not that we look alike, but yeah.

And even though he knows me so well, he'd get so worried he's pissed with me. Just like how I'm pissed with myself.

It still angers me, because feeling like this sucks, and I just wanna feel, or at least notice other emotions other than the one I'm currently feeling and seeing right now.

I hate when people are disappointed in me. It's kind of like jokes, in a way, like it's totally fine to make fun of or pick on yourself. But if other people do it, it's just not fucking cool. I'm willing to deal with it because it's me, I should be hard on myself.

It sounds weird, maybe even very selfish, but when people try to assure me it'll be fine, or that I shouldn't take the blame 'cause it's not my fault whenever I tell them it is, It's just really comforting. Even when it's not genuine, because who _wants_ to feel like a total fuck up? You act like you think you are, in order to get people to tell you that you aren't.

But Ryu is kind of like me. So it's difficult to get sympathy from him when he knows exactly what I'm feeling or thinking.

Right now, I don't want him to be like me, because he's being a dick.

Like seriously, just feel bad for me.

I just called myself a dick.

"What?" I question in such a light tone, as if I'm oblivious to why anyone would be upset with my reasoning.

It'd piss me off, so I know it'd work on him.

He frowns, as expected. "Noya, you could have died."

"Yeah, I could have died, I could have lost a leg, I could have broken something. I could have become a vegetable. There are so many things that I'm aware of that could have happened, and I don't need someone to tell me how bad I screwed up or how bad I could have. Because, holy shit, Ryu, _I know. _So just, fuck off with that, alright?"

"I'm not trying to scold—"

"You kind of are. You haven't said anything, but I can see it in your face and whatever you wanna say, chances are I've already thought it, so just save it." That lump in my throat is back, and I knit my brows together so hard to try and make it disappear. The face I'm making must seem intense, but I just don't wanna cry in front of him.

There's a moment of silence, and I hear him sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Good."

"Dude…"

"I'm just pissed, okay? It's not easy to deal with the fact you'll never walk again."

"But it's not like that." he tried to reason, but it's not working for me.

"It _is_ like that."

"No."

"Yes."

"Stop."

"Go."

"Quit it!" It's kind of funny watching someone get visibly angry.

"Continue it."

He's quiet again. I guess he doesn't feel like playing. I want to announce my victory, but he speaks:

"Tanaka Ryuunosuke."

"Shimizu Kiyoko."

"The opposite of me, is her?" he snorts.

"Yup." I nod.

"But we're both human, that's something we have in common."

"Nah, man. She's an angel."

He makes an amused face, then glances around before looking at me again. "You think if I use that 'Heaven's missing an angel' line on her, she'll smile at me?" He looks like he just came up with a perfect plan he'll flawlessly execute.

"She might hit you…"

"Love hurts."

"Or ignore you."

"It's blind, too."

"Were you always this corny and I'm barely noticing now, or is this just a good day for you?"

We laugh, and it was a good, hearty one too. The kind that forces a huge grin on your face and makes you feel super light. Laughing feels nice. Life should just be a series of gut-busting jokes, because if it was, maybe things would be easier to handle.

I now understand that whole 'Laughter is the best medicine' saying.

Obviously, I'm not cured, but I do feel a lot better.

Maybe after high school, I pursue a career as a comedian or something. I imagine myself rolling about on stage in my pimped-out wheel-chair, shouting jokes and I soak in the laughter and feel-good mood from the crown. That'd be so cool.

My stage name would be 'Rolling Thunder'

_Rolling Thunder, the comedian._

It's perfect.

"Noya." I see a hand wave in front of my face.

Whoops.

"Hm?"

"About what you said earlier, about never walking again...You didn't mean it, did you?"

"Well, yeah. It's true."

"No, didn't they tell you? You've just got some swelling in your spinal cord or something. There's a possibility you can walk again. I looked it up online, you have to rehabilitate by doing exercises and using walking aids, then you'll be back on your feet. It'll take a long while, but you're a strong guy so it'll be faster than most, I think."

I just stare at him, taking in all this information. It was then I realize this is probably what the doctor was trying to tell me earlier.

"It's why you have to stay here for a bit," he continues. "When they find out you've got _some _feeling in your legs. You can get started on your exercises. And if you don't, then...y'know…"

"..."

"How did you not know? Did they forget to tell you? That's pretty lame. The nurses here are pretty cute but If the doctors can't so much as tell you what's going on with your body you should probably switch to another hospital."

I just nod, and decide not to tell him that I most likely did get informed, I just wasn't paying attention.

The door opens, and I hear it close with a very irritated sigh. "Oh man, I couldn't find _one_ vending machine in this place so I just used the one outside near the entrance." Saeko walks on over with an armful of treats consisting cookies, candy, chips and soda. Enough for all of us. I was just about ready to dig into mine, but the nurse, with fantastic timing, comes in with my lunch.

I'm allowed to keep the treats, but I have to eat them at another time. I'm a bit upset by this, but at least I get to keep them. Ryu and his sister take their leave, and I wave goodbye before opening my juice box.

I feel this nice relief of pressure, I was so certain my life was pretty much over, but hearing there's a chance I could walk again excites me. I'm happy.

Right now I have this small, sliver of hope. It's not much, but it's better than nothing, and it's all I have.

So damn it, I'm gonna cling to it.


	4. The Art of Bullshitting

Ryu told me that everyone else would come and visit over the next few days, but he didn't actually specify who in particular, and on which days. All I know that it's soon.

I don't really mind though, no matter who shows up it will be a pleasant surprise. Hospitals are really, really, _really_ boring, and I miss my friends.

When the nurse came with my lunch yesterday, I coerced her to let me keep the remote before she left. I'm currently watching some basic cable show, consisting of a tranquil talk show host, an angry girl clinging to the arm of a significantly older man, and her weeping mother. I forgot the name of the show, but It's named after the host so I don't stress it too much, 'cause it'll come up again. So far, the girl seems to be claiming that she's in love, and that she's carrying the child of her supposed lover. I don't see a baby bump, so I can't tell if she really is pregnant.

Shows like these always confuse me, I mean, who would willingly broadcast their business on television? Everyone just knowing about your issues, visibly judging you. That's not cool. Some people people say this kind of stuff is scripted, and if it is, then it makes sense. It's always easier to pretend.

Honestly, I prefer action packed shows and movies. Cool guys and guns with never ending bullets, bad ass girls with a vengeance mercilessly beating their enemies in tight clothing and high heels, speeding cars, helicopters, and explosions. Lots, and lots of explosions.

But there isn't a channel on here that will 'have me at the edge of my seat' so it's either this, or sitting in silence.

During the commercial breaks, I remember my situation and stare down my legs, I try to wiggle my toes, or move, or just feel something.

No success.

I don't get too worried though, I was told it'd take a few days since to feel something since it was so recent. Plus, I've regained the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom again. Which to me, is absolutely fantastic. I'm getting back my independence bit by bit. So if that doesn't say progress I dunno what should.

Yesterday with Ryu kind of lifted my spirits, but I still have a few questions, and maybe if I had paid attention to the doctor, they would have been answered. But there's no use sitting around and regretting not listening, so I decide to just wait until the nurse comes in again.

Meanwhile, I attempt moving again, shifting and grunting about in my bed while a commercial about soda airs. I imagine myself to have a cool look of intense determination, but when I notice my reflection in the window, I realize I just look really constipated.

The door opens, and I immediately cease my actions, so I don't get any questioning looks from whoever walks in. I expect the nurse, I gather up all the questions I've been meaning to ask only to hear more than one pair of footsteps. One in particular, is squeaking against the tile floor.

"It smells weird in here!" my face contorts in a confused expression as I sniff the air, to get a sense of what they mean, but I get nothing. Then again, I've probably gotten used to the smell, which makes me immune.

Cool.

"Hinata, _shh_. He might be sleeping." Nice! More visitors. Little Carrot Top and Sugawara.

"Then, we'll wake him up."

"That's rude!"

"I'll be really quiet about it, promise."

This sounds vaguely familiar.

"What's the point of being quiet if you have to be loud enough to wake him up?" Oh! It's glasses-face.

"I think the word he was looking for was 'gentle', Tsukishima." The captain's here, too. Now it's a party.

"I don't think he can be gentle."

"Guys—"

"Shut up, I can be gentle!"

"How?"

"I'll just...Poke his face...like, _Geh._" I can see him making a poking gesture, and thought of being assaulted with fingers makes me frown a bit, as it's pretty unpleasant, and also reconsider sleeping anywhere near Hinata.

"I can sleep through school fire drills and my mom vacuuming the house, but if you so much as whisper something about food I'll shoot up like a rocket, it's weird." I finally interject to get their attention.

Nearly everyone is here, which is weird considering my parents told them not to 'overwhelm' me. I'm not complaining though. They all look at me, and for a moment it's silent. But before I can call it 'awkward' they smile and crowd around me. They're happy to see me. And all of their smiles are refreshing— well, not all of them. Tsukishima and Kageyama just kind of have this look of faint surprise that's most readable in their eyes, it isn't bad. And it's the closest thing to a smile so I accept it.

I smile back, ignoring the lag in their reactions and observe the group, it was then I noticed not everyone was there. Daichi, Hinata, Sugawara, Kageyama, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima. But no—

"Noya! How are you feeling?" Hinata pulls me from my thought. "We would have came yesterday but Tanaka said he has 'special friend' privileges so he had go first."

"Pretty special, alright." I hear Tsukishima mumble, and Yamaguchi snickering while lightly elbowing his side. I should respond and defend my best buddy, but I'm too busy staring down the door, waiting to see if another person will be joining the group. I answer so they know I'm paying attention.

"Uh, I'm feeling good, I guess." I can't say I'm fantastic, because I'm not. I'm in a fucking hospital bed. And I can't say I feel shitty, because I really don't. So 'good' it is.

It seemed to suffice for him, and he smiles again. Daichi and Sugawara do that thing where tell me how happy they are that I'm okay and pat my head. It's not as good as when Saeko did but I don't complain cause I don't expect it to be. They also brought gifts consisting of my favorite junk foods. A wide smile stretches across my face as I nod in thanks, then shift my gaze back to the door.

Maybe he's late.

"Ennoshita couldn't come with us," Says Daichi. "But he sends his best wishes and even got you a card." He pulls out said card and rests it on my lap. I'm still looking at the door, trying really hard to be subtle about it. But it seems they've noticed.

Sugawara puts a hand on my shoulder. "Asahi couldn't make it either." I finally look away from the door and try to hide slight disappointment in my face by reveling in the fact that the rest of my friends are here.

"But! He said he's really, really, really, really, _really_ sorry." Hinata added, counting the number of _reallys_ on his fingers.

I picture Asahi actually apologizing like that, and laugh a little. "It's fine, you guys made it at least."

"So Noya, what exactly happened?" My favorite underclassman asks, but it earns him a flick at the ear from Mr. Grumpy pants.

"Dumbass, you can't ask things like that, what if he's not comfortable sharing?"

"Oh! I'm sorry!"

I shake my head, him asking didn't bother me. In fact, I'm glad they don't know. It means Ryu didn't tell them.

And if Ryu didn't tell them, that means I can tell them.

_And I will not let this opportunity slip through my fingers._

I scoot over on my bed, and pat the extra space I created, indicating I wanted Hinata to sit. He does and I exhale. "Gather 'round children, papa Noya's got a story to tell." Everyone has some form of an amused expression plastered on their faces.

"So there I was, taking nice little stroll down the street, feeling like a nice walk would do me could do me good. Because I'm an active man, and I need to stay healthy. The sun was out, and it was pretty hot, so I was thinking, 'Hey! Why don't I get something to cool me off?' Then I saw_ her. _This girl was getting mugged by a bunch of creeps! I ignore the need for something cool as a fire lit inside me, a burning rage which would become fuel to defeat these foes and allow that pretty young thing justice, and the ability to walk these streets without fear!"

Hinata and Kageyama let out this impressive gasp, and you can practically see the admiration in their eyes as they light up and move in closer. Having people look up to you is one of the greatest feelings ever. I mean, there are a lot of things that are pretty good, but this is right up there with them.

I don't understand how I'm able to feel satisfied like it's a genuine feeling, when I'm shamelessly lying through my teeth, but I don't question it.

Sugawara and Daichi just look impressed. I continue

"Obviously, being the strong, noble man I am, I fight them off! Mind you, these punks were huge. Like, five hundred plus pounds, I shit you not. Tall, too! Seven feet exactly."

They gasp, and I smirk.

"She was too scared to thank me, though. She ran off before I said anything to her, but she was headed out to the street. I followed after her to try and lead her to safety when suddenly a car comes out of— "

"We know you got hit by a car on the way to the store." _Tsuki-fucking-shima _interrupts, nonchalantly adjusting the glasses on his face like he didn't just ruin the image of a selfless hero I tried to create.

Daichi and Sugawara snort, but turn away so I don't see them laugh. They must have known all along but said nothing so I can tell my story. Like true friends. Kageyama and Hinata look really confused, I think Tanaka actually did tell group, but these two weren't around to hear it.

"Lame!" I shout, making sure he hears the hinted annoyance in my voice. "You didn't let me finish."

He just looks at me with a brow raised, uncaring to the actions he'd cause. "Lying is wrong, _papa Noya._"

I think this roughly translates to: " I am incapable of tolerating any more of the bullshit that comes out of your mouth. Stop it."

Yeah, I lied and tried to make myself look more badass, but honestly, who the hell would want to hear the real story? It's boring and lame. My version was much cooler. I mean, the look on their faces, obviously proved it.

I'm actually quite proud of my ability to bullshit almost anything, I truly believe it is a skill I've mastered since middle school when I had to write an essay on a book I knew nothing about, and got a pretty good score.

Seriously, I shocked myself.

If I could teach classes on how to bullshit in necessary situations, I would.

Bullshitting is an art form.

"Noya?"

Crap.

"Mh?" I avert my attention to the red-head, forgetting I had company for a second.

"Is it true?" Hinata faintly cocks his head to the side as he listens in for an expected answer. It reminds me of a puppy.

"Yeah, yeah. I didn't look both ways before crossing the street and here I am, pretty sucky right?" I force a soft bit of laughter, and realize that the sharp and burning pain I feel whenever I sound like I'm accepting the reality of my situation had become kind of dull and faded, so it's easier to talk about. It's most likely because I found out there's a chance I won't stay like this, so the feeling of relief is still lingering.

Hinata and Kageyama give me a look of pity, so I avert my eyes to the get well card in my lap so I don't have to see it. I have a feeling I know what they're thinking, and it practically shifts the light and playful mood into a more depressing one.

I can still save it though.

"But hey! There's a chance I can walk again. Doc says it's some spinal swelling so I should be able to still have some feeling, y'know? I don't feel anything now, but If I give it a few more days I'm sure I'll start my road to recovery." I smile, nice and big. Like, the kind of smile people give out awards for.

And they smile back.

"And I can't wait, being paralyzed from the waist down sucks. Everyone just assumes you just can't feel your legs. But it's _waist down._ I wet this bed twice in my sleep and didn't even notice until it started to smell in the morning." Yeah, it was way too much information, but I've come to accept the fact I lack the ability to filter my words and thoughts.

There's a pause, and everyone inches a bit away from the bed in a not so subtle fashion.

I frown.

"Well it's clean now!"

After a collective 'Oh', they all emit a relieved sigh and encircle me once more.

* * *

They end up staying for a few hours, and we talk about things from school to the pregnancy test results from the show I was watching before they arrived. (She wasn't pregnant, by the way. I so called it.)Yamaguchi had brought a pack of playing cards, so we played a bunch of games and learned Sugawara has a terrible pokerface. Before I knew it, it was time for them to go.

I smile and wave as they all shuffle out of the door one by one, as soon as the door closed I let my head fall back into my pillow and sigh. I feel so exhausted despite not even doing much, it wasn't long before I restarted my attempts to move my legs and toes until it tuckers me out and I fall asleep.

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**A/N**

woo! That's it for this chapter, and since all but the one teammate he was expecting has yet to visit, y'all can guess who's going to be in the next chapter-


	5. Metaphorical Beans

I hate when I'm having a dream, and I wake up when it's just starting to get really good. It's like watching a really good episode of an interesting show, and the television shuts off right at the best part. And you can't turn it on again, so you just give up and do something else, forgetting all about it. I must have slept in longer than usual, or have had some sort of objective for the day that required an early start. Either way, The nurse practically showed no mercy when she opened the curtains and allowed vicious beams of sunlight to shine directly onto my poor, unsuspecting face.

I wake up almost instantly it was so bright. To prove my dissatisfaction, I let out a whine and try to cover my head with the sheets, but responds with some unamused noise and pulls it away. I look up at her, wondering if she'll find it in her to let me rest more, but she has none of it. The nurse simply gestures to the tray of food on the table beside my bed as I try to rub the remaining sleep from my eyes.

I look down at my stomach and give it a pat before grabbing the tray and setting it on my lap. I glance at my cell phone, which I haven't touched in a while ever since I was placed in here. I pick it up to examine it, and notice a crack on the screen. It certainly wasn't like that before I came here. It makes me wince, but I don't put it away. The flashing green light tells me I have some notifications, so I check them. I find out I have a few missed calls from mom, on the same date of the accident, but that wasn't all. A mysterious number was also on my list of missed calls. People usually call my phone by mistake from time to time, and I just ignore because accidents happen. But this number left a voice mail, and it's pretty recent, too.

Out of curiosity, I listen to it.

_And I damn near shit my pants._

"Hey, Nishinoya, I heard what happened and I'm so sorry. I couldn't visit you with the guys, but they let me know that you're doing okay, I was glad to hear. So was coach and Takeda, you should have seen how worried they were…" There's a slight pause, and I hear her exhale."Noya, I know I don't often say much to you, but I just want to let you know that I do care about you, and if you ever want to talk or if there's anything, please know I'm just a phone call away. I mean it. Though, I prefer you keep it serious…"

It was Shimizu! She called me, _me_.

Shimizu Kiyoko called my phone, and left me a message.

I could have spoken to her.

I have her number.

I'm free to talk to her whenever I please.

She called me.

She called me.

She called me.

Aw, man. Shimizu's voice sounds like what you would feel like when you walk into a nicely air conditioned room on a really hot day.

It's just so damn refreshing.

I won't make her regret this.

I just kind of sit and stare at my phone, with this giant grin. The kind that just forces itself onto your face because you're so damn happy, and you gotta try real hard to rid of it before someone notices and gives you a weird look. I'm trying to grasp the fact that I got her number without even having to ask or come up with some clever jokes to 'woo' her. She gave it to me along with permission to call her.

This is way better than the dream I was having, my only regret is that I didn't wake up earlier to actually talk to her. Yeah, I might have been fighting spies and blowing up stuff in dreamland, but in real life I got a girl's number. And I didn't even do anything.

Getting placed in a hospital for nearly breaking my back might have something to do with it.

But still,

It's just a nice feeling, and it puts me in a better mood than I've ever felt previously. I notice on my call log there's another number that tried to call me while I was asleep. The person even left a voice mail too, I listen, of course, but all I heard was incoherent mumbling that had a nervous tone to it.

That same number left a text. After I read it, I put the pieces together.

It was Yachi. She tried to talk to me but I think her nerves got the best of her, so she left me a thoughtful text. I don't mind at all, in fact, the idea that Shimizu and her were thinking about me is pretty sweet. I can feel my face getting red. I smile, a small one, and try to shake the blush off. I set down my phone and dig into my breakfast before it starts to get cold.

The meal consisted of pancakes, milk, and a fruit cup.

Not really my ideal breakfast but hey, it is what it is.

I cut up my pancakes into small, bite size pieces before drizzling it in syrup. I stab two pieces onto my fork before shoveling them into my mouth. It was at that moment, I hear my door open. I want to assume it's another guest, because this day was already starting so well. I stop chewing, and use a napkin to wipe off any syrup that didn't make it into my mouth.

I hear the door close, but no more footsteps. There's this big curtain that curves a little so it can hide my bed. If I was sharing this room with another patient, I'd use it for privacy reasons. But since I've had the room to myself, I pay no mind to it. It was always pulled up half-way so it covered the door from my perspective. It's kind of annoying, yet at the same time I'd rather leave it be, because I like being surprised with whoever might pop out behind it. I stick my head out as far as I can to see who it is, knocking over the carton of milk on my tray in the process. I ignore it. "Who is it?" The pancake muffles my voice as I call out, it's pretty impolite and makes me sound like a slob, but at the moment I value eating my fill over modesty.

I hear an apology, and before I can even see him I know who it is.

He steps out, sort of timidly, which is kind of funny considering how big he is. He looks like he thinks he came at a bad time or something. I point my fork at him. "There you are!" I say, voice raised, now loud and clear.

Almost soldier-like, he stands up straight, then offers me a small, relaxed smile before approaching me. He looks different, I haven't gotten used to seeing him in clothing other than his school uniform, and his team uniform. Asahi wearing tan jeans and a cream colored sweater vest with a white, pressed dress shirt underneath just looks odd. Not in a bad way, it's just interesting and has me staring at him probably longer than socially acceptable. It's a nice shirt, and it makes me wonder if he has somewhere else to be today.

I noticed something occupying his right hand. It's colorful and bunched together, wearing some green wrapping paper and an orange ribbon fashioned into a bow. It takes me seconds to make out what it is.

It's flowers.

He brought me flowers.

This dork.

"I was starting to think you just didn't wanna see, man." I lie, wanting to see if I could pull a surprised reaction, the one you make when you have no intention of offending anyone, but you just did. He looks a bit nervous, but I only glance at him, then play around with the food on my tray for a moment before looking around for my milk that seemed to have disappeared. Which is crazy, it was _just there_ like, two seconds ago.

He walks over to my bed and retrieves my milk that managed to end up on the floor, and puts it back in it's rightful place on my tray. He then sits in the chair conveniently placed by my bed. I get a good look at the flowers, and try to see if there's any I recognize, and name.

There isn't any, but I didn't know many flower names to begin, with anyway.

Right when he opens his mouth to speak, I snicker.

"...What is it?"

My eyes meet his and slowly shift down to my supposed gift, he follows them and it seems like he gets it.

"Isn't this the sort of stuff you get your friends who are in hospitals?" He frowns a bit, either at the fact I don't appreciate his kind gesture, or his ability to choose gifts isn't all that great.

I don't know the exact answer to that, but I answer like I know anyways. "Yeah, I mean, if they're dying or something."

The frown disappears, turning into more of a lightly shocked one. "Oh, man. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to imply anything or assume that you were going to...pass."

"Die." I correct. Hearing myself say that aloud, and so quickly too, I sound like I'm still bitter about my whole situation. And hearing anyone but me speak or mention it gets me slightly peeved. It's dumb and unnecessary, yes, but knowing someone is thinking about what happened, it means they're also judging it. Judging my judgement and actions. Judging me. It's irritating how easily you can ignore certain things, but other things you can't shake off as well as you would like to.

He looks at me, like a child who just heard a swear. I knew he was searching for softer words, but I don't want any. I don't like when Asahi filters himself when he talks to me. Or anyone for that matter. If there is something I should know, just say it. It's hearing something I already know, and being told like I don't is where I have a problem.

He clears his throat and continues, through halfway in it his voice lowers down to a near-mumble: "I just saw them, and the colors stood out from the rest. Y'know? It reminds me of how your uniform stands out from the rest of the team. Obviously for different reasons, but I thought of you, so I bought them. It was kind of on impulse, I wasn't thinking about it much. It is kind of lame when you think about it, huh? I'm sorry, I'm not good at choosing gifts. I mean, what are you gonna do with flowers? I—"

"Dude, relax. They're fine. I was just teasing, you know. I appreciate them very much." I say that part somewhat slowed, with a reassuring nod, so he knows I'm not kidding.

He sighs like he's relieved, and I laugh a little. "Honestly, Asahi, you get worked up and worried over simple things. That kind of stress is bad for the heart, we all know it's made of glass." I scold with amusement, thinking of Daichi 'cause he's said stuff like this before.

"You...You do know it's a metaphor, right?" He asked, like he's worried I actually believe part of him is made of glass.

"I _know_!" I furrow my brows together to complete the offended expression I have before I shoot it at him. "I'm just saying, you gotta chill, sometimes…" I shrug, then quickly add: "And eat lots of beans. Or else you could get a heart attack and die. And you can't die. I forbid it." I point my fork at him, almost threateningly before jamming it into my pancake, sponging up the syrup.

It's quiet for a while, and I assume he's soaking in my words, so I take the opportunity to take a few more bites of my breakfast.

"Wait, the beans are a metaphor for how I should take more moments to assess the severity of my situations, so I can decide whether or not I'm overreacting, which will help me become less stressed, right?"

.

.

.

What?

"No, like actual beans. They're good for your heart." I say, giving my chest a soft punch.

"Oh." He looks embarrassed for thinking so hard, and averts his attention to the flowers like he's going to admire the pedals. I grin.

"The more you eat, the more you f—"

"Yuu, please."

I laugh, and despite trying to hide it, he does too.

It's quiet again, and I return to my tray. I just set it on the table beside my bed and give all my attention to my milk. While I'm opening it, I realize the same lingering feeling air that came about when Ryu visited is back. He wants to bring up something, but is not sure how I will take it.

I want him to just out with it, but at the same time I'm afraid it's something I don't want to hear.

I just start talking again, so he'll either build up the courage to say what he wants. Or lose it.

"So what was the reason you couldn't come the other day?" I ask in a way that makes me sound just curious, rather than slightly upset.

"School things, since, y'know I'm graduating soon and all." He scratches the top of his head. "I went on some campus of a college for a tour that day, so I couldn't come and visit." He gives me an apologetic glance, but I just stare down at my milk.

"What are you going to do after high school?" I ask while putting the straw in the opening I've created in the milk carton. He just shrugs and gives me a half-assed answer, something about wanting to either teach, or work in sports medicine.

Sports.

I can see in his eyes he's searching for another topic to discuss already, as if the mention of anything sport related will bother me. I don't give him the chance.

"You gonna continue volleyball?"

"I think, my volleyball career will end with my high school career, Yuu." There was some undetectable tone accompanied by those words, so I don't know how I should feel about them. That area neutral and upset so evident I can't really respond in the way I think would fit best.

So I just get annoyed.

And that giant, ugly wave of shitty feelings I've felt from the moment I woke up in here return, but they're not as strong. I'm just left with this feeling of agitation, and this gnawing desire to find a way to turn back time. Because with him sitting right here, I can't push those realizations away. I can't ignore or cover up those reminders that let me know I fucked up so bad, I probably won't be able to play volleyball with my friends ever again.

I wish I was exaggerating, but it makes sense. The third years will move on with their lives, and by the time I can move on my own independently, I would have graduated. Everyone would part different ways, satisfied with the accomplishments they managed in high school, except me. Since I just guaranteed I won't be participating in any fun activities in my high school career.

"I fucked up." I hear the sound of my own voice cracking at the end of those three words despite me saying it pretty softly, and it gives away the dejected feeling I was trying to hide.

"Don't say that…" He looks at me with pity, and it almost makes me angry, but it was so genuine I just look away from him so it's easier to forget.

"It's true though." I continue, still not looking at him, but at the slightly opened door of my room. "I pretty much ruined my life, and made things harder for the team. 'Cause I fucked up."

"...Yeah…" was my fucking response. I give him some incredulous look, and he winces and starts to apologize, but stops and sighs.

"I don't know what you want me to say, really. I want to sympathize with you, but it seems like it will upset you, and I want to agree with you because you're speaking like I should and although exaggerated, there are some truths to what you said." He scratches the top of his head. "Maybe you don't want me to say anything, huh?"

I don't respond, in spite of him giving me room to speak. So he continues.

"If you're just upset with your circumstances, I get that. But please don't take your frustration out on yourself, it's not just your fault. If you want to cry—"

I grunt, just to indicate that I have absolutely _no _desire to cry. Even with the fact I have cried before, crying in here, for the obvious reasons is just unacceptable to me. I refuse to do it. This is probably one of the only times I'm emphasizing my refusal to show weakness. I don't want to show weakness in a hospital. There's something about doing so that almost equates to giving up.

"If you want to cry," he restates. "I'm here for you. The whole team is. You probably already knew that, though." He tries to make eye contact with me, but I'm still looking away, I just make a sound so he knows I'm listening. " And if you're frustrated in an angry way, well, you have my permission to give my arm a nice solid punch." He smiled a little, and I hear the beginnings of a laugh immediately die out. Probably because I don't seem amused. I just keep staring at the door. I realize he has a point, this situation would probably be easier to handle if I had a more positive outlook. Also, his kindness and sacrifice to turn himself into my lightning rod of anger until I feel better makes me feel sort of guilty, I appreciate he'd go that far, but I cut it out for his sake.

"I'm sor—"

"You would really let punch you?" I asked, turning my head to finally look at him, no longer feeling the need to express my disappointment at my faults.

"Well...yeah." He nods. "So long as I get to prepare. I'm just trying to let you know there are other ways to vent out your frustrations, don't hurt yourself. If you want to use me...go ahead."

I snort and look away again in pseudo-skepticism. "You're just saying that to sound cool." I say, and finally take a sip of my milk before turning back at him and smirking. "Thanks, though."

* * *

We just spend the rest of the time talking, mostly about post graduation plans. I know I still have a few years, but it's a topic I'd rather occupy myself with. I found out he had another scheduled college visit today, which explained why he was dressed all semi-formal like and showed up early. I give him advice on what he should do when he lands an interview, and he seems to appreciate them but I can't tell if he'll actually take them to heart. I make him promise to tell me what school he ends up going to when he decides, because I plan on meeting him there one day. He smiles and gives me a reassuring nod when he does.

He eventually gets ready to take his leave and he mumbles on about something I couldn't really bother trying to comprehend, I was too busy staring at him awkwardly deciding where to place the small bouquet of flowers he had been holding for me this whole time. He just places it in my lap, pats my shoulder, and smiles at me one last time before heading out. I wave until I can't see him anymore, then yawn.

I just examine the arranged bunch of flowers in silence, only hearing the crinkle of the plastic wrapping and my half hearted humming. It's actually a nice addition to such a dull looking room, the colors are really vibrant.

I look over at my breakfast tray, and notice I still have my fruit cup. I'm not hungry enough to finish it, so I just press the nurse call button to collect my tray. I hear the door open instantaneously. I could have commented on this hospital's speedy service. But it was not the nurse who showed up, it was the doctor, shuffling in with that nauseatingly contented smile that could easily knock a few years off his face. Figuring he must have had some good news for me, with the way he lit up when he noticed I was awake. I smile back.

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**A/N: **holy moly this update was rather late- I'm sorry, I'll try to be more consistent. But here you have it. Y'all probably have a good idea as to what the 'good news' will be, so you can expect it in the next chapter. Until next time-


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